Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day
while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom
of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good
news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged,
since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping
in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have conclude that your act displays a sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you
saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health day! See ya~~~~~~~~ Cowboy

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ...Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'




My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'


My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

Honestly--------My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery. See ya~~~~~~~~~Cowboy

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein, US Ambassador to Spain Eduardo Aguirre, and television's Tony Danza were on a jungle vacation together when they were caught by a tribal group.

Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, ''Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.'' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food

Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.

Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him ''What the hell are you laughing about?''

A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied ''Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.''' See ya ~~~~~~~~~~Cowboy

boy i am sure tired of this weather we are having, i still have to use my four wheel drive on the country roads, my little sun bird im sure thinks i have abanded it, my truck is a gas guzzler. and the price of gas just keeps going up. did get a fifty cent raise in pay, that helps though. can you believe just a short while ago, they said there was a gas shortage we were runing out of crude, but know that the gas prices are around three dallars a gallon, there is plenty, go figure. gas companies are making billions of dollars in profit, i guess they think we are idiots, and our farmers are growing corn to be made in to fuel, but guess what, the farmers dont make as mutch as you think. it is a vicious circle. we can ether eat or drive. does it make sense, one thing that eases my mind is that those ass holes.....please excuse my french, but those arabs that are sitting on oil wells, and have a new car they can drive for pennys a day, some day they are going to wake up and find there is no recipe that says BRING WATER TO A BOIL,ADD EARS OF CORN.......................IF YOU HAVE ANY, smother with crude and enjoy. hope they shove the oil right up there ass, and i hope it has lost its lubricity, ....hey may be some sand will help,,,,,I DONT THINK SO, at least in the good ole USA we can eat or drive. GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES AND GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS THAT ARE KEEPING US SAFE.well i got that off my mind, BOY I FEEL A LOT BETTER KNOW,see ya. hope all of you have a great night, and from a great comedian i like RED SKELTON, may god bless.

See if you can match the statements with the person(s) who made them.

There are only six questions. Don't look at the answers at the end until you
have finished.

==========================================================

1) 'We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the
common good.'

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) 'It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few,
by the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared
Responsibility for shared prosperity.'

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) '(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means
something has to be taken away from some people.'

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Josef Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) 'We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to
give up a little bit of their own...in order to create this common
ground.'

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) 'I certainly think the free-market has failed.'

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) 'I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the
most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being
watched.'

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above

=================================================================



Answers:

(1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004
(2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007
(3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005

Could nearly half of this country be this deceived?
See ya election day!~~~~~~~~~Cowboy