1. Cows
> > 2. The Constitution
> > 3. The Ten Commandments
> >
> > C O W S
> > Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
> > that during the mad cow
> > epidemic our government could track a single cow,
> > born in Canada almost
> > three years ago, right to the stall where she slept
> > in the state of
> > Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their
> > stalls. But they are
> > unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering
> > around our country.
> > Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
> >
> > T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
> > They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
> > Iraq. Why don't we just
> > give them ours? It was written by a lot of really
> > smart guys, it has worked
> > for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
> >
> > T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
> > The real reason tha t we can't have the Ten
> > Commandments posted in a
> > courthouse is this:
> > You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt
> > Not Commit Adultery,"
> > and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of
> > lawyers, judges and
> > politicians...It creates a hostile work environment. See ya~~~~~~~~~~~~cowboy
> >
> >

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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day
while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom
of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good
news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged,
since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping
in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have conclude that your act displays a sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you
saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health day! See ya~~~~~~~~ Cowboy

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ...Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'




My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'


My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

Honestly--------My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery. See ya~~~~~~~~~Cowboy

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein, US Ambassador to Spain Eduardo Aguirre, and television's Tony Danza were on a jungle vacation together when they were caught by a tribal group.

Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, ''Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.'' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food

Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.

Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him ''What the hell are you laughing about?''

A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied ''Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.''' See ya ~~~~~~~~~~Cowboy

boy i am sure tired of this weather we are having, i still have to use my four wheel drive on the country roads, my little sun bird im sure thinks i have abanded it, my truck is a gas guzzler. and the price of gas just keeps going up. did get a fifty cent raise in pay, that helps though. can you believe just a short while ago, they said there was a gas shortage we were runing out of crude, but know that the gas prices are around three dallars a gallon, there is plenty, go figure. gas companies are making billions of dollars in profit, i guess they think we are idiots, and our farmers are growing corn to be made in to fuel, but guess what, the farmers dont make as mutch as you think. it is a vicious circle. we can ether eat or drive. does it make sense, one thing that eases my mind is that those ass holes.....please excuse my french, but those arabs that are sitting on oil wells, and have a new car they can drive for pennys a day, some day they are going to wake up and find there is no recipe that says BRING WATER TO A BOIL,ADD EARS OF CORN.......................IF YOU HAVE ANY, smother with crude and enjoy. hope they shove the oil right up there ass, and i hope it has lost its lubricity, ....hey may be some sand will help,,,,,I DONT THINK SO, at least in the good ole USA we can eat or drive. GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES AND GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS THAT ARE KEEPING US SAFE.well i got that off my mind, BOY I FEEL A LOT BETTER KNOW,see ya. hope all of you have a great night, and from a great comedian i like RED SKELTON, may god bless.